Swimming with the Fishes
by ravenromance27
Summary: AU. Continuation of sorts to "Fish and The Mob". What exactly transpired between Tsuna and his meeting with Nono? What backroom deal did they wrangle from one another so that Tsuna's inheritance could be delayed for three years? Here's a look at the unfortunate ways a would-be mafia boss learns to navigate the predator-infested waters of his future.
1. Deals, Denials & Devils

Authors Note: 02/13/16

Okay. SO…I guess you could say I had a moment and thought—well…maybe I did leave off in a bit of a rush and maybe there are a couple of things that I could've done to further the story along and yadda-yadda…long story short—I decided to re-read "Fish…" this and thought to myself—what else could've happened that day and what happened after everything has been settled?

So here it is—the missing link, I suppose. I hope you'd like it. I certainly had fun thinking of things to put in here. The ending will be the same though, so it's entirely up to you if you actually want to even bother and reading the editing and minor adjustments I did to "Fish…" before continuing on to this newest mad episode.

On another completely irrelevant and pointless note—I was tempted to write a sequel—not a terribly long one after re-reading _ **"Fish…"** _ Well more than tempted since I began it already. Just—I thought of some things and it was an intriguing exercise. Tell me what you guys think, okay?

* * *

 **Deals, Denials and Devils You Don't want to know**

 _Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes._

– _Anonymous_

* * *

 _ **It was the single most intimidating thing he has ever laid his eyes on**_ _._

Pristine, white and pale as newly fallen snow…the only imperfection it bears comes from the precise lines and groves etched upon its smooth unforgiving façade. For such a small, fragile item it carries all the pomp and pageantry of a cultural treasure promptly set in proud display.

It certainly demanded all the requisite security measure commensurate to a sovereign bestowing favor to the lowly and undeserving _hoi polloi_.

Placed against the polished, gleaming surface of the antique, eighteenth century partner's desk that has graced the libraries and private rooms of kings, tyrants and crafty old men who played with power and people in countless different ways; it was immutable and uncaring—as if well aware of the weight it bears and the solemnity in which it is destined to be recognized.

Sawada Tsunayoshi, age eighteen and a half, university student and sole offspring of his parents stared at the piece of foolscap that bears his name, a familiar crest and the contents of a contract and couldn't help the words flowed out of his thin, annoyed lips as he stared at a pair of twinkling golden eyes peeking from beneath salt-and-pepper eyebrows.

" _ **What in god's bloody hell is this?!"**_

* * *

By the time Sawada Tsunayoshi reached the age of seven he has learned three inviolable truths that would sustain him for most of his adult life.

 **One,** _**innocence, optimism and faith must be tempered with an insane amount of common sense or else disaster looms**_.

Sawada Tsunayoshi adores his mother—she was a wonderful, kind-hearted woman with such a loving and forgiving nature that could rival Bodhisattva herself but she's also ditzier than was probably safe to be allowed especially when it concerns dealing with rest of the populace. Suspicion was a word that didn't exist in her vocabulary. And neither was cynicism, skepticism or even plain distrust. Case in point—her continued insistence that the wastrel she married and fathered him was not a monumental waste of the air he breathed. She calls him a romantic adventure, seeking out grand quests and whatnot—her own rose-colored explanation for why he was not around to be with wife and child.

That led to truth number two: _**Responsibility is not just a word—it is a vow—so you better make sure you understand what it means before committing to something you cannot fulfill.**_

Some men were meant for home, hearth and fulfillment of duty. Some men were born not knowing what any of those words mean. Case in point—the man who was married to his mother and the source for the other, more objectionable half of his genetic makeup.

His father was an unreliable schmuck who got lucky finding a woman who tolerated his errant ways and he repaid her trust and devotion by being the worst husband and father ever found in the planet.

His foolish sire vanished after he turned five—ostensibly to pursue his love of adventure—reason only young innocent toddlers, unicorns and his mother would even deign to consider believing. Alas, while not a child or in the possession of animals of questionable mythological origin—his mother however believed in it wholeheartedly. Despite her rather pathetic attempt at romanticizing their mutual abandonment, finding out the truth did little to ease the ache and disappointment which led to his final and life-changing realization.

Truth number three coalesced and solidified after coming home from a thoroughly disappointing day from school—one that resulted in him being repeatedly called a sobriquet that would take him most of his formative preteen years and endless sessions with a therapist to shake off—to find his mother in tears from receiving yet another of the rare post cards his disreputable sire would send home on the extremely rare occasions he would recall that he actually had filial responsibilities.

T **he sight seared into his mind the third most value lesson of all—** _ **there is no one else who could rescue him but himself**_.

If he wanted to ensure that he turn up nothing like his father or end living up to the degrading nickname his mean-spirited, narrow-minded peers bestowed on him—he must learn to rely on no one else's strength but his own. He must find a way to save himself from a clearly disappointing future because no one else can and will do that for him. Only when he has strength to stand and defend himself will he have the ability to rescue someone else. He needs a plan and a guide and a means of learning that would not cause worry to his mother or bring burden to anyone else.

That's when he made the fate-altering decision to ask his mother to find him a tutor whilst he murmured soothing noises and wiped away the traces of tears from her cheeks.

His mother found a neighbor who recently retired from some kind of consulting work who offered his tutoring services for a minimal fee and a guarantee of three square meals a day plus tea.

The tutor appeared the next day. And Sawada Tsunayoshi has never looked back since.

* * *

 _ **Eighteen Hours Ago**_

 _ **Namimori University, Namimori Japan.**_

To all but the most discernible observer Sawada Tsunayoshi was the embodiment of a run-of-the-mill, typical university student who, like all those of like-minded tendencies and limited budget, gravitates towards the University's Food Centre to peruse and partake in the daily offerings of victuals for the thousands of hungry denizens that call Namimori U home.

This image would've persisted and nothing more would've been said—after all the young man bore all the markings of an ordinary member of the academe— pale skin exhaustion brought about by heavy study load and many late nights already making their mark on the young man's bloodshot, bleary gaze; messy, untamed locks made even more so by hands running through it countless times in agitation and nervousness; the slightly creased albeit clean clothing of one whose care is primarily undertaken through one's own effort.

Indeed, Sawada Tsunayoshi's entire image called to mind such ordinariness, such commonplace existence that it is expected that any interaction with the boy would result in a moment forgotten in the usual flood of everyday occurrence if not for the fact that a few minutes after the thoroughly ordinary and mundane university student Sawada Tsunayoshi stepped off the curb, a shiny black Lincoln Town Car skidded to a halt in front of him and a bunch of black suited men came out and proceeded to pull a black bag over his head and bodily sweep the young man into their arms, hauling him off the street and bundling him into the dark depths of the car before peeling off in a rush leaving behind nothing but the distinct smell and markings of burnt rubber and a bunch of gob-smacked witnesses uncertain exactly of what it was they just saw.

Tsunayoshi pulled off the fabric bag off his head with a sniff, sputtering indignantly, " _Reborn!_ _How many times do I have to tell you—you don't need to keep doing things like this—contrary to your demented mindset I really don't enjoy being_ —oh."

As Sawada Tsunayoshi stared at the unknown figures around him and finally realized what had occurred, he could only sigh in frustration.

 _Great. Just great. My day just took a turn for the worse._

Now, ordinarily—one would expect a kidnap victim to be shocked, paralyzed by fear, or tearful and pleading for mercy. In the case of one Sawada Tsunayoshi, one might be lucky to guess that the blank look on his face was simply an excellent mask that veiled his nerves or his trepidation.

This would not be an accurate assessment or guess. For in truth, the young man was not fearful, traumatized, surprised or even intimidated. No, for all that an unforeseen abduction was a shock to the system—all that the young man displayed was the visage of one who is thoroughly incensed for having his carefully constructed scheduled interrupted.

He noted the burly, muscled men who flanked him before his gaze turned towards the dark-suited figure that sat across from him and decided that this man is the leader given the almost smug, insolent air he was displaying for all to see. It was almost anti-climactic how the man was playing with the clichéd image of a privileged scion of the mafia. No older than thirty his kidnapper-du jour looked like he just stepped out of the pages of a magazine. Salon-styled blond coiffure, aristocratic features haughty and a lithe body clad expensively in the first stare of fashion. The man's icy, shrewd blue gaze was not unsurprising. Neither was the supercilious smirk painting his pale, thin lips.

Running a hand through his messy hair, Tsunayoshi tried to compose himself and wondered, idly, if he would have time to catch dinner before things in his life descends into chaos once more. He noted the increasing level of tension in the vehicle and decided that he needed to move things along. He was after all—on a schedule.

He took a deep breath and hoped the other men would begin. When more than two minutes passed and no words were forthcoming, he exhaled softly and proceeded to prod his clearly lackadaisical abductors with a brisk nod and a smile.

" _Hmm_. Well, gentlemen? May we hurry things along? I have things to do."

As expected it was the elegantly suited man who spoke, his voice refined and smooth but tinged with a smoky undertone that revealed a significant portion of his life spent in the company of cigarettes.

"Your bravado does you credit Young Master. I'm most impressed."

Tsuna blew out a breath at the condescending tone and wished heartily that the men who grabbed him hadn't tossed the cup of coffee he had just bought for his lunch. He glanced at the man who was gazing at him like he was some prize he finally nabbed and resisted the urge to sigh.

 _Really, why couldn't I be abducted by a bumbling idiot? At least that might've been interesting._

Wrestling with his wayward attention that started to stray, Tsuna tried to concentrate on his reply lest his current host was not the type to have a sense of humor.

"I'm afraid your admiration is the least of my concern. Especially since I have yet to know whose questionable hospitality I am currently enjoying."

The man gave him a rueful smile that might've been mistaken for being charming had it not been for the calculating look in his cold blue eyes.

"Ah—my apologies Young Sawada—where are my manners!" He placed a well-kept hand across his chest and bowed his head gallantly. "I am Federico Petruccio, current Head of the Ezio Famiglia. It is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, Signor Vongola."

Tsuna was glad the man hadn't offered a hand. He wouldn't have known what the policy was when it comes to general niceties especially concerning kidnappers and members of the Underworld that he kept finding underfoot.

"I'm sorry that I cannot share your pleasure. I'm afraid you may have taken the wrong man."

The man's chilly blue eyes flashed and his voice descended into its more natural growl as he rasped, " _Dio Mio_ —do my ears deceive me or is this possible? Dare you, Young Sawada hurl accusations of incompetence in my face? Here? While I hold you captive?"

Tsuna shook his head side to side emphatically at the sight of the man's livid face; his hands lifted in alarm, waving the appendages to refute the perceived offense.

" _No! Oh gods no_! I am just trying to tell you that I am not Vongola—not for another two or three years at the very least but I can understand the misunderstanding. You must've received bad information. I am sure you wish to speak with the current Vongola."

"You must think me foolish to be misled by your apparent youth and casual attire. I assure you my resources are impeccable Young Master Sawada. You are here because you are exactly who I require for what I desire."

The man gave out a grating chuckle that made Tsuna wince. He curled his hands into fists before he could give in to the urge to rub his ears. He didn't actually want his body to reveal any sort of reaction to the man's expression of glee.

"I am certain your desires are, to you at least, worthy of all this fuss but as I mentioned— I am not the one you wish and I have prior obligations and such."

"Expediency is something I advocate myself Young Master and if cooperate and do as you are told, then perhaps will come through this little escapade unharmed. All we need is a bit of your time, that's all."

 _Well…someone is certainly enjoying playing a bad man,_ Tsuna mused irritably. _The man is clearly in need of a hobby._

"Time? Not ransom then?" Tsuna glanced at the smirking older man and shook his head. "No…I don't think so. You don't look like you're hurting for funds seeing as you're surrounded by your personal goon squad and this is quite obviously your limo. I suppose you're going to leverage me for something?"

"Very good. That indeed, is the idea Young Master Sawada. So we'll be taking you for a nice long drive. I suggest you take your time to get your bearings and relax."

The man clearly reveled in his current predicament. It was a moment of profound realization for Tsuna to finally understand that something about the whole drama of being abducted oddly appealing to members of the Mafia.

 _It certainly explained his own Famiglia's propensity for the deed that he could no longer find any alarm in finding himself the victim of yet another one._

"If I might make an observation, I really don't think this is a sound decision. Kidnapping me really isn't something I would recommend and I'm afraid I have a prior engagement that I simply cannot miss. The person I have to deal with isn't the most patient or understanding sort, so if you could just pull over right here I would be ever so grateful."

"Ah…young Vongola—this insouciance you display is commendable—why I am almost intrigued by your lack of wariness. Is this not the first time you have been taken against your will?

Tsuna wondered if he should tell the truth. Weighing his options, he was not quite certain the man would recover from the knowledge and that might not be something he could stand to have on his conscience but then again, he hasn't had much progress with his own family so maybe an outsider might have a better understanding of his experience.

Clearing his throat, he stole a glance at the smug older man and found himself sighing. The man was clearly enamored with this whole " _kidnapping-to-get-what-I-want_ " mindset. It was—Tsuna decided—in retrospect and in keeping with the whole idea of nipping problems in the bud before it becomes something worse—his duty to speak his mind.

 _Might as well disabuse him of the notion_.

"Well…to be frank—no. I'm an old hand at kidnapping; frankly the entire experience is becoming a bit passé."

The man was clearly flustered by this information and his words came sputtering out.

" _A bit passé_? Being abducted is becoming— _wait a minute_ —exactly how many times have you been kidnapped Signor Sawada?"

Discomfited to realize that he has put himself on the spot, Tsuna tried his best to be as ambiguous as possible.

"Including this one?",he hedged.

"Yes." came the gritted reply.

"With clear intent to harm or gain something?" he murmured.

The man's eyes flashed once more. "Of course!"

"With show of excessive force and threats?"

"Damn it yes!" Signor Ezio barked.

"Questionably comfortable hide out notwithstanding?"

"Just answer the fucking question!"

"One last thing."

"What!"

Tsuna blinked at the clearly incensed Don and taking a gulp of breath, muttered rapidly a burst of breathless words.

" _Does-it-count-if-I-include-the-times-when-the-kidnappings-done-by-my-own-organization?"_

"Yes, of course including—! What the fuck you talking about?"

Startled at the man's relapse into a much saltier speech, Tsuna sat staring at the man before rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, as he murmured in resignation. "Well you could say that's how I was introduced to my Famiglia. They kidnapped me so that I could be their boss."

"Wait—what?! Are you saying your own organization kidnapped you?"

"Kidnaps." Tsuna quipped.

"Kidnapped. Kidnaps—what's the fucking difference?"

Tsuna blinked at the man, perplexed at the man's rather obtuse response. _Surely he should know the difference between the two?_

"They haven't just kidnapped me—that implies a singular incident."

"Are you saying they've done more than kidnap you once?"

Tsuna nodded, eager to explain now that the Don's face showed his own shock and confusion. _Perhaps the man would be one of the rare ones who would understand Tsuna's chagrined feelings on the matter?_

" _To say the least._ It's actually kinda nostalgic, you know. In a few weeks, I do believe I would be celebrating—hmm…goodness, about half a year since my very first abduction."

"Signor Sawada this farce has gone long enough! You have had your fun and your games but now comes the time for a more serious discussion so I suggest you desist recounting these ridiculous lies of yours—!"

Tsuna howled, affronted at the man's accusation. "I am not lying!"

"Of course you are! There is no conceivable reason why such an honored Famiglia like the Vongola would descend to utter the madness of abducting their own heir for any reason save for security and even then it is utterly ludicrous for you to persist in calling such security measures such fanciful terms. Now, as I was saying, we have matters to attend to—now, what is going on here? Giuliano why are we stopping?"

The burly man on Tsuna's left who has remained staunchly silent the whole time gave out a grunt and made a move forward to open rap at the privacy division of the car when its doors were suddenly yanked open, hauling both musclemen out and a familiar face and figure slid smoothly next to Tsuna seat.

"That will be because we've blocked out every road going to and from this road for the next two miles."

"Y-you!"

"Reborn!" Tsuna called out before his voice cut off abruptly at the look that his tutor leveled his way.

"Dame Tsuna. Getting into scrapes again, worthless student of mine?"

Quailing from Reborn's gaze, Tsuna gulped back his nerves and tried his best to explain. "T-this is not my fault! I-I—was at just getting lunch when they just came and—!"

Reborn blinked and Tsuna found his courage and voice suddenly die out. He could only whimper when Reborn's lips twitched into its tell-tale smirk. "That is not a worthy excuse, Dame Tsuna. Rest assured, we will discuss the matter at length when we get home." Turning towards the other figure that shared their quaint little space, Reborn pinned the rapidly paling man with an imperious look and a raised eyebrow. "Don Ezio."

"Y-you! What are you doing here Arcobaleno?" Federico blustered but it was evident to anyone with an ounce of brain power and a good pair of eyes that the Ezio Don was trembling like a leaf and was two clicks away from fainting dead away. Tsuna noted the man's color and wondered if it was possible to get that red under any circumstance without serious medical repercussion.

"Retrieving my charge. I appreciate having you pick him up from school. You have certainly saved me a considerable commute. You have my thanks Don Ezio."

"You c-can't just t-take him A-arcob-baleno! I-I have n-need for the young V-v-vongola—!" the man stammered.

" _Do you now_ , Federico Ezio? Will you really sit there and state a claim on the Heir of the Vongola without the proper dispensation from your Famiglia, your Alliance and without the knowledge and express permission of the Head of the Vongola Famiglia? Will you sit there and challenge _my_ claim to _my_ student?"

Reborn left the babbling, hyperventilating don without a backward glance, one hand snagging the thin wrist of his gaping student as he marched back into the waiting car, murmuring normally as if making a banal observation on the weather.

"Come on Tsuna, time's a-wasting and you have other tasks to accomplish today and you're already behind schedule."

"I was about to get home when I got waylaid. You can't blame this on me Reborn, come on, that's not fair!"

Reborn waved a hand towards an almost identical looking black limousine and Tsuna grudgingly slid in, grimacing when his tutor slid to the opposite bench to pin him with his usual imposing look.

"Your lack of situational awareness caused us delays and not inconsiderable inconvenience. Fret not, it would be addressed as soon as I can free some time. Come now, Dame Tsuna, we have a meeting to attend."

Reborn tapped against the partition and the car slid smoothly back into traffic. As the verdant fields started filling his view, Tsuna tried once more to rally his defense and make his tutor see his point.

"You didn't have to stage a kidnapping just to get me to attend a meeting. You could've just called me and I would've gone."

"There wasn't enough time."

Tsuna scoffed. "You found time to organize a _stand-off_ worthy of a spaghetti western in the middle of nowhere but _not_ a phone call?"

Reborn stared at Tsuna until Tsuna could feel sweat blooming on every inch of his skin. It nearly took everything he had not to fidget under that pitiless gaze.

"Stop sassing me brat. I didn't stage a stand-off—I rescued you from a kidnapping—again. This habit of yours of being abducted is becoming rather tedious, Dame Tsuna. Do you know how many hours we have to negotiate between here and the family headquarters not including the time I have to waste looking for you whenever you get inconvenience by every incompetent idiot with visions of grandeur by taking over your famiglia?"

Rubbing a hand across his brow, Tsuna conceded his Tutor's point and made a mental note to never again stand alone on areas that could easily be accessible by both muscle and vehicle. He really should've known better. Giving his tutor a short, sharp nod, he turned towards the matter at hand.

"I told you I sleep lightly enough that I'd more likely be awake when they do make the call. I knew the time difference Reborn and I've made peace with being disturbed at all hours of the day. You certainly had no compunction when you were still teaching me. As for the kidnappings—it's not like I like being forcibly taken—whether by organized crime lord-wannabes or the local law enforcement. Seriously, you'd think people have better things to do than kidnap a university student."

Reborn snorted dismissively. "And I told you this decision of yours to continue living in Namimori to finish your degree is lacking in practicality."

This time it was Tsuna who raised his chin enough to pin his tutor with his own lambent gaze, eyes the color of sun-struck citrine stared at the impassive Arcobaleno and waited for the man to meet his eyes. When Reborn finally deigned to do so, Tsuna spoke simply and clearly, his voice soft and implacable as steel.

"Practicality notwithstanding, _I will graduate_. I will have a degree. It makes no difference to me that I'm inheriting a 400-year old antiquated gang full of eccentric geriatrics and trigger-happy weirdoes that defy normal psychological assessment—most of whom I would have to manage for the rest of my life—I promised myself and my mother before all this madness came to light that I will earn myself a degree and a means of supporting myself and that's what I intend to do—mafia or no mafia. _I made a promise and I will not be made to break it—not by anything or anyone."_

"You have an obligation—" Reborn began but Tsuna raised a hand and the strongest of the Arcobaleno's found himself subsiding in his seat to listen.

"One that I have every intention of honoring regardless of what others may believe. You don't need to constantly remind me what I agreed to do. You, more than any one, knows the truth that my word is my bond. _You have nothing to fear_. I'm not in the nature of reneging on any promises I make. I will become the head of the family but this is something I owe myself. Now, this matter is no longer up for discussion, yes?"

When the Arcobaleno gave a short nod the air between them suddenly lightened; as if whatever tension that lingered before was wiped clean and their status quo was once again restored—mentor and apprentice sat before one another—one waiting instruction and the other ready to give it.

"Fine."

Tsuna smiled at his tutor before returning to the matter at hand, "Now, why don't you tell me what's the reason I had to be abducted in plain view of every resident in my town while I was hollering my head off like a deranged clown?"

"I didn't kidnap you—!"

Tsuna shrugged and gave his tutor an impish smile. "Let us pretend that you did not make prior plans to do exactly what Don Ezio managed to do in your stead and just tell me of your news."

"I got a call. The Old Man wants to see you."

Tsuna groaned aloud. _"Oh shoot. What does he want now?"_

"Don't worry; I'm sure it's not a big deal." Reborn gave his student a smirk and Tsuna gave in and finally snorted in disbelief.

"Yeah, like this entire upheaval in my life didn't begin with the Old Man wanting to speak with me. Back then, you said it wasn't a big deal. Remember that _?_ " Tsuna reminded his tutor and the man gave him a glowering look.

Smoothing down the lines of his jacket before adjusting his signature fedora, Reborn pursed his lips in thought before giving in to the urge to smirk.

"Like I'd forget something like that."


	2. Getting Up Close and Personal

**Authors Note:**

 _First of—KHR is not mine. Standard Disclaimer applies. Blah-to-infinity Blah. There._

 _Second—my eternal thanks to those who gave this story a try. Really. I am humbled by your opinions and effort in reading what amounts to little more than my madness needing to infect itself. I hope that this would amuse some of you. If it brings even a little twitch to your lips—I feel paid in full. Enjoy._

* * *

 ** _GETTING UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL_**

" _ **The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."**_

– _Murphy's Lesser Known Laws_

* * *

 **Flashback**

" _Tsssuuuunnnaa-aaa_! My darling boy! Papa is here!"

Tsuna scrubbed a hand across his face as he hissed at the older man, "Old Man, where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea what I've been through in this stinking country of yours? I've been trying to call you for hours!"

Checker Face couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what possessed the older man to cling to the young man that he has been thus tasked to interrogate but he felt it imperative that said child understand that the person next to him was someone important.

"If you must know that man is the Head of the _Consulenza Esterna Della Famiglia_. He is known throughout the Underworld as the Young Lion of the Vongola."

Tsuna stared impassively at Checker Face, his face not giving anything away as he resolutely turned his gaze away from the man who was still frantically whimpering explanations at his side as he clutched at Tsuna's sleeve, slobbering all over his loaned suit like a recalcitrant toddler.

"The— _what_ now? Is he important?"

The masked man threw his hands in exasperation over the younger's clear ignorance. "Of course he's bloody important! He occupies a standing equal to the current Vongola Nono—Head of most powerful Famiglia in the world! Now, answer the damn question—what the hell is he to you then?"

Tsuna pursed his lips in irritation before gesturing a thumb towards the man that's been casting him dejected looks ever since his arrival all while babbling inane platitudes in a voice that is better suited for a toddler than a full grown man.

"Well, it just so happened that this very important man of yours is my bloody annoying Father."

" _ **Y-your Father? Iemitsu Sawada is your**_ _**sire**_ **?** "

"I assumed. I figured the last name would somehow clue you in, right? Obviously you missed out on the memo." Tsuna deadpanned.

Checker Face's incredulity couldn't be disguised even with the mask that covered his own features. It must've taken the man considerable effort to keep his voice beyond a strangled shriek.

" _ **This man**_!? The _Young Lion of Vongola_? The Head of CEDEF and the second most powerful man in the Underworld is _your father_?"

Tsuna managed to finally liberate his arm from Iemitsu's limpet like grip and he gave the man another exasperated shove as the man tried to cling to his other arm.

" _Unfortunately_. Much as I would like to disavow the fact, my mother insists on shoving my birth certificate in my face every time I would deny it and his name happens to be on it."

Iemitsu continued babbling, hands waving expansive at his side, face animated as he tried his damnest to make his beloved son see reason. He wrapped his arms around his flailing son and wept copiously, words pouring out in the same sing-song tones usually employed for toddlers.

"Oh my darling boy! Papa has been so busy keeping the world safe but I came as soon as I was able! Darling Tuna-Fish come to Papa and tell him all about your worries. Papa promises to take care of everything!"

"Oh for god's sake will you stop with that disgusting display! Act your damn age for once in your life Old Man!"

The room's occupant watched the exchange like an intense tennis match. The volley of words paused for a moment when Reborn's deep smooth baritone joined the fray.

"Really Iemitsu, no wonder your son's so intractable, with you acting like a loon every time you get near him. You cause as much annoyance as anyone in your organization."

Iemitsu's pleading face slid into a mask of righteous indignation and fury as he leveled a fierce glare and an accusing finger at the face of the smirking tutor who sat staring at him in languid amusement.

" _ **YOU!"**_ he growled malevolently, " _ **Do not speak to me like that you fiend! You stealer of childish affections! You usurper!"**_

Reborn cocked an imperious eyebrow at the clearly agitated man, tilting his head inquisitively as he drawled, "What are you babbling about now, you fool?"

For the first time Iemitsu stopped clinging to his son and straightening his stance, finally assumed the image and form of a man that could actually be thought of as wielding some kind of office of importance.

He took a step forward and with a pounce grabbed the arms of the chair where the tutor lounged and pushed his face closer to the man seated man, eyes ablaze and voice ringing as he bellowed.

" _ **Don't you take that tone with me! After all, it was you who stole the precious affections of my beloved only son! You took him from my side and now look at us—he doesn't even allow me to embrace him in my arms as is my just and honest right as his beloved sire and father!"**_

Tsuna glared at his father even as he traded looks with his tutor who only conceded his own sense of chagrin by rolling his eyes before pinching Iemitsu's arms, letting the man howl in pain for a few seconds then making him fall flat on his ass on the floor.

Pulling out his signature Beretta, he pointed it at Iemitsu who paled considerably once he realized what he had done, before murmuring sweetly to the man who was now eyeing him with trepidation and discomfiture.

"If you scream at me like that again there will be more holes in your face than you'd know what to do with Iemitsu. Now, sit your stupid ass down so we can have the rest of this pointless interview over with."

Iemitsu gave the tutor a mulish moue, rubbing gingerly at the red marks on his arms.

"Reborn that hurt!"

"It was meant to Baka-Iemitsu."

The man gave another sniff before lifting a hand and snapping his fingers quickly. Two of the black-suited men who hovered nearby came forward with alacrity and placed an identical wingback chair to the one Reborn was using, bowing in clear deference to Iemitsu, who settled on his seat with surprising grace, before moving back, fading once more into the shadowy corners of the room.

Tsuna watched the entire exchange before he sauntered close to his tutor and father, staring at them both before posing his question to his now sheepish looking sire.

"What are you two talking about? Didn't you choose him to be my godfather?"

"I didn't know he would steal you from me!That wasn't what we agreed upon when I asked him! He was supposed to support you when I couldn't be there!" Iemitsu immediately retorted earning a warning growl from Reborn but he cheerful ignored the glaring tutor.

"That's precisely what I did you whiny boob."

"Well that's just great then!" Tsuna muttered gesticulating irritably at the man who, even now, is staring at him like he wants to pat his head and coo over him. "If that's the kind of instruction you left him with no wonder he stayed with me for seven bloody years!" he snorted derisively. "Know what—hey Reborn—you still owe me a couple of years."

Reborn tossed Tsuna such a long-suffering look of commiseration that Tsuna couldn't help but laugh, causing Reborn to smirk and Iemitsu to stomp his feet in clear protest of his son's clear regard for another man.

"But he wasn't supposed to contact you until I gave him the signal! That's the deal!" Watching his son exchange Iemitsu whined petulantly.

"I didn't know all about that did I or the fact that he was my godfather until later! And besides, it was Mom who hired him to be my tutor. Are you going to blame her too?" he asked

Iemitsu drew himself up like an affronted cockerel, every bit of him shivering with self-righteous outrage. " _I would never_! Why would I do something as incomprehensible as that?! _Lay blame on the feet of my darling angel? For shame_! _My beloved wife is a goddess_! She is blameless of any evil in this world!"

"Yeah, yeah, right. The only evil she ever managed to attract was your lazy, ungrateful ass."

" _Tsuuunnnaaaa!_ You're being mean to Papa again!"

"What do you mean again? I've been mean to you since I realized you were my father! If you'd been around more often than a freaking than a leap year I'd have shown you exactly how mean I can be!"

"What do you mean by that Tssunna! You loved Papa! You adored me—you said so all the time! You wanted to be just like daddy when you were little!" Iemitsu whimpered, surreptitiously casting a glare at Reborn before casting a besotted look at his frowning son who was clearly and thoroughly scandalized by the sight.

"I was _three_ at the time!" Tsuna sputtered in complete chagrin, "And I thought you were actually normal and an adult! Thank god I grew up and discovered what a shame that would be!"

"I am an Adult!" Iemitsu shouted, stomping his feet and clearly unaware of the image he was promoting, much to Reborn's continued amusement. "That tutor must've corrupted you against me! Look at what he made you go through! All this traumatic experiences—you might never recover from it all, my poor darling son!"

Tsuna fired back against the attack on his tutor by bellowing, "And I told you for the hundredth time Old Man—don't call me those disgusting names!" Huffing in indignation he continued his rant, pinning his father with a glare as he waved his hands in agitation, "And he did no such thing! If anyone's to blame, blame those weird people who kept stealing me away like some kind of booby prize! I mean—really! I've been taken and retaken so many times in the span of a single day that I don't even know who are the real the good guys and who are the bad guys since I'm pretty sure I got taken by the cops too! All I want is for someone in this country to start making sense and just tell me what the hell is going on!"

" _ **Perhaps it would be best if I explain?"**_

The person who spoke was an older man with hair as white as snow perched on an antique leather wingback chair that seemed more like a throne than anything else. Perhaps it was due to the way he sat—straight-backed and poised. Perhaps it was the way he was dressed—clad as he was in understated style, dressed in a beautifully cut pale ash-grey suit with a crimson silk tie that fairly declared his moneyed, privileged background. Perhaps it was the way his large, scarred hands clutched at his intricately detailed and gilded walking cane that looked more like a scepter than something as mundane as a means of aiding locomotion.

Perhaps it was the way he looked—pale, age-lined face with smoothly carved and elegantly rendered features that lent him a distinguished look coupled with eyes the colored of sun-struck ancient gold that compelled the senses of the casual observer to submit to this man's whims and a voice and manner that immediately set one at ease.

"I'm afraid my men jumped to conclusion once they found out you where headed here. They were, I must admit—a tad over-eager to have you come to us. Understandable once the circumstances could be further explained."

The wizened gaze moved towards Tsuna's youthful professor who flushed when he realized that he has gained the attention of nearly everyone in the room. Dino gave Tsuna a cheeky grin and a short wave, much to the mortification of Romario who stood next to him; battering the young professor's hand and muttering softly in reprimand.

"Young Cavallone did not intend for any misunderstanding to occur, I wanted you to know that. He really only intended to bring you here to let you experience the beauty of this eternal city. Alas—it was not quite the kind of impression he or I desired for you to gain about our fair city."

Tsuna looked at the smiling old man down at him intently. Something about the way he tilted his head and the faint rumble of his voice tugged at his memories. Without conscious volition, Tsuna's gaze fell down and his hands reached out to touch one veined, scarred hand and both of them gave out a soft sigh.

"I wonder if you'll indulge my curiosity Signor—? Forgive me, but it would seem that while you know who I am, I cannot claim the same knowledge so I am unable to address you properly."

The old man gave Tsuna another penetrating look before smiling down at him like a benevolent grandfather much amused by the antics of a much-adored and favored grandchild. The image was, oddly, one Tsuna could easily find himself relating to.

"Ah I apologize—how remiss of me." The old man let out a rumbling laugh, "Courtesy—the cornerstone of civilized society, no? My given name is Timoteo. I also go by the appellation of Nono—Vongola Nono, Head of the Vongola Famiglia."

 _Ah…so this was the man who controlled everyone in this room—the silent, canny king who watched from the shadows as his minions plied him with questions after questions._

"May I ask a question Signor Vongola?"

"You may call me Nono Tsunayoshi. I trust that you know what it means?" The older man gave Tsuna a smile that could only be termed as magnanimous but wary as he was, Tsuna failed to be comforted by it so he was reduced to murmuring inanities to move the conversation along.

"I know two meanings for it. Which of them should I consider sir?"he demurred. His words was met by a bemused smile and a twinkling gaze.

"At least I can commend Young Dino for the thoroughness of his teachings. I am known for one definition. I ask you kindly to use the other to address me."

The man, for reasons known only to himself, did not elaborate and Tsuna did not fully expect him to do so. He gave the old gentleman a nod and posed the question that has been plaguing him since he was awoken to the knowledge that his earlier adventures were meant simply as a means to secure his presence due to this man's desire.

"Consider this question superfluous—but I beg you to indulge my curiosity—exactly _how_ did your men even find out about my coming here when I only agreed to it less than four days ago?"

"Ah…that's a matter easily explained and I assure you—your question is not superfluous at all. I admit it would've surprised me if you hadn't been curios at all. To answer your question, first I must, in the interest of salvaging your faith in Iemitsu, clarify that he has no responsibility for our knowledge of you or your eligibility for this position we are now offering to you."

"No?" Tsuna murmured inquiringly.

"Absolutely not. As the Head and Commander of CEDEF, he has effectively removed himself from the right of succession and under normal circumstances, you as his son—would've been afforded the same courtesy. Indeed, Iemitsu has done all that was possible to prevent such a circumstance from occurring—thus the reason why he has stayed away from home for so long."

"You mean to tell me that my idiot father never intended to bring into contact with any of you or even this country until you've settled the question of your heir and the family inheritance?"

"That's correct. Your own tutor can attest to the fact that he wasn't contracted to train you as the heir-apparent for the Vongola despite the fact that being the Heir-Tutor is his primary function to this Famiglia."

"If what you say is true—"

"Does your insolence know no bound—how dare you question the honor of—!"

"I am not impugning on anyone's honor—merely clarifying matters since the entirety of this mad fiasco emanated from miscommunication. Surely you cannot begrudge me my wariness?"

"Speak your mind freely Tsunayoshi. I do not mind levity as it would—as you state—prevent any further confusion between us."

"Thank you sir." Tsuna looked at the older man that continued to smile at him benevolently and he took a deep breath. "My question is simple—if my father did everything he could—short of abandoning me to a convenient orphanage to conceal the fact that I exist and to prevent me from coming this country and being considered as a successor for inheriting whatever madcap organization this is and I've spent all my life half-way around the world from all of you—then how in the world did you even find out about me?"

"That's quite poetic actually. Destiny is a funny thing is it not Tsunayoshi? Seneca wrote something about it, did he not?"

" ' _For the_ _willing, Destiny guides them; the unwilling, Destiny drags them_.' ", Tsuna murmured quietly.

Timoteo gave an approving nod. "Rightly so. Do you recall ever answering an ad posted somewhere in your school during your first month there? It would've been something in the nature of an invitation to be part of a research group—that sort of thing?"

Tsuna blinked. Oncee. Twice. Thrice. Tsuna turned towards his tutor who only scowled at him and it made him blink again before he his mouth took over and retorted askance, " _Huh?_ W-what do you—? _What has that got to do with anything_?"

Staring at him with a wicked twinkle in his canny golden gaze, the older man bestowed on him an indulgent smile before winking, "I'm afraid, my dearest Tsunayoshi, that it has everything to do with it."

* * *

 **FLASHBACK…AGAIN**

 _Namimori University_

 _Namimori Town_

 _Three Months Before the Trip to Italy_

The ad looked real enough. Posted on one of the campus' many ubiquitous message boards, it's a wonder he actually noticed it amidst the torn, stained, wrinkled and often abused detritus of free media that passes for communication within the academic community. The advert was small and to the passing multitude fairly unremarkable if not for a few irregularities that tickled ones primitive brain. The parts that dealt with instinct and primal survival and the ones most often ignored.

It was a computer generated announcement that listed a need for a kind of company R&D study that required participants and assistants. The qualifications were not excessively stringent—meaning there was no limit to any majorship or coursework, therefore no elitism regarding what you were studying to become to get in the way; the age bracket was narrow enough to target a certain criteria—freshmen up to junior level only—no one graduating or pursuing master's degree or up doctoral level allowed-which opened up to a nice chunk of the population. The hours offered were flexible and could easily be fitted around a student's usual class schedule—meaning it either begins at the god-awful time of ass-crack of dawn or very late in the graveyard hours when nothing vaguely human or sane should be awake. And most of all, no previous experience or reference necessary for anyone applying. Most of all—the chosen participants would all be paid every end of the week for as long as the study is being conducted. All one needs is to come to the aforementioned location at the set time, take the test, have an interview and wait for a call to confirm that the job is officially yours for the taking.

But perhaps what really caught his attention was the fact that the advert made him laugh. And despite all its inherent straightforwardness and professional tone—Sawada Tsunayoshi was a master at reading between the lines. The advert was more that it seemed. Although it did contain the word ' _research assistant_ ' what the job seemed to entail was more like _**'lab rat'**_ and " _ **guinea pig**_ " more than general factotum or even babysitter.

So after much discussion with his friends—many of whom were busy too with class and their own part-time jobs—and with the admonition that he had nothing to lose should he try it coupled with a wave of indulgent curiosity and humor, Sawada Tsunayoshi, seventeen and a half years old and practitioner of common sense shed nearly a decade of hard-learned sensed of skepticism and decided to take the plunge.

If he had known back then the firestorm that little advert would bring into his life, he would have taken one look at that benign piece of paper and forced his legs to take him to the furthest corner of the world where he could bury himself in an oubliette hidden from anything even vaguely human.

 _ **The Application**_

The interview certainly left much to be desired and left him even more discombobulated than a heart to heart conversation with his mother during the days she would wax poetic about the great love story that occurred between her and the man who unfortunately shared half his genetic makeup.

It didn't help that the first hurdle was an impromptu medical test that asked them for DNA samples to ensure that they were of the correct criteria for the study. Apparently the company paying for the research was very eager to test across the board and wanted a wide spectrum of possible test subjects.

After allowing his left ring finger to be pricked and small dot of his blood was smeared unto a glass slide by a pleasant faced young nurse, Tsunayoshi found himself ushered into another room where he was handed a clipboard with a sheaf of papers and a black pen and told to fill out the questionnaire while he waited for his turn to be interviewed. It pricked his interest for a moment that he was effectively alone in the luxuriously appointed room but chalked it up as the company's technique for securing that none of the applicants would compromise their data collection.

He glanced at the questionnaire and gamely filled out the minutiae of details pertaining to his name and other statistics when he reached the second sheet of paper and promptly dropped the clipboard. Staring and re-reading the list of questions a couple of times, he still felt as though someone was pulling a giant prank on his behalf but he resolved to be as thorough as possible. He was after all an adult now and he was determined to prove his independence. Even if it meant answering as seriously as possible questions that would've made a ten-year-old him cringe and hope for a natural catastrophe to occur within striking distance of his current location.

 **QUESTION No. 1 Does your name sound like a random pair of numbers or even a cutesy animal nick/pet name? If so, please indicate your name**.

 _Are these people for real?_

Tsunayoshi could feel a vein on his temple beginning to twitch and he had to exert himself mightily not to give in to the urge to simply crumple the paper that was clipped to the board he was handed. With a harrumph of breath, he quickly penned his answer, keeping in mind his actual thought in check lest he accidentally transcribe them down as his actual answers.

 _ **Tsunayoshi— (2),(7)—two, nana. That's it. Although to be quite frank, I don't see what's the point of knowing that fact.**_

 **QUESTION No. 2 Do you have a morbid fear of fire and flames?**

 _Who doesn't? Maybe except for people with unhealthy fascination with fires as this would make them possible arsonists or pyromaniacs._

 _ **As normal as could be expected. Anyone with a sense of self-preservation in their veins would know instinctively to be wary of energies that could be harnessed for both advantage and disaster.**_

 **QUESTION No. 3 How well do you deal/ cope with difficult situations?**

 _I try not to get into too much trouble because things and situations like that would necessitate bringing HIM into the picture and no one deserves that._

 _ **Well enough or as well as any sensible human being would faced with a less than ideal situation. I suppose this would be a point in my favor since I am not quite despondent or melancholic nor am I relentlessly optimistic like someone on chemical stimulants therefore I can claim advantage due to my relative normality.**_

 **QUESTION No. 4 Can you deal with impossible personalities, phobias, fetishes, eccentricities and varied peccadilloes of human kind?**

 _I try my very best to stay away from them? Seriously if you knew what my life is like you wouldn't be asking me this—you'd probably run away screaming wondering why I haven't been committed._

 _ **Depends of what is termed as impossible. Everyone is different and standards vary from person to person. Personally I'm pretty easy-going and I try very hard never to judge anyone until I've formed my own impression.**_

 _ **Unless where talking about assorted types of psychopaths or really crazy—committed in an asylum with multiple medications type crazy—then I think I'd rather wait and see what their back-stories like.**_

 **QUESTION No. 5 Between wolves and the family who would you go first in a crisis?**

 _Wolves? What is this Animal Planet? Am I applying for a job that might cause me to end up as wolf-bait?_

 _ **What in the world would perforce me to go to wolves? Unless my entire family suddenly becomes zombies or something completely alien or insane I doubt I would resort to being involved with wolves that may or may not take one look at me and decide I could be dinner. If I run into trouble I might as well call the cops or dial Emergency Services. They're trained for the job aren't they?**_

At the sight of the next question, the vein that has been throbbing insistently on his temple twitched eagerly and Tsuna wondered if it would still be considered the height of rudeness if he decides to chuck his questionnaire straight into one of the black-suited, dour faced men who ushered him into this small sitting room where he was told to answer the questionnaire and wait his turn for a more formal interview.

 **QUESTION No. 6 Which of the following enterprises would you find the least/ most objectionable: racketeering, kidnapping, weapons trade, protection, drugs, human trafficking, etc?**

Tsuna's heart gave a mild twist at the sight of the mangled paper where his pen scored the formerly pristine surface where his answer was slashed clearly through the thick foolscap.

 _ **ALL OF THEM. Are you people insane? There is no way anyone with half an inch of conscience would even agree let alone advocate or support such atrocities! Never mind the clear legal violation—have you people never considered the moral implication for some of the choices you've given here?**_

 **QUESTION No. 7 In cases of succession, how would you determine who will become heir?**

Scrubbing a hand across his face, Tsuna took a deep breath to better rein in his temper and prepared to vent his spleen on the already creased and torn paper. He figured he could either do that or have his ass tossed out after he assaults the idiots who decided these questions are in any way, shape or form—valid.

 _ **I don't know—maybe you could give whoever ends up with the job of being successor a trial run. A trial period wouldn't hurt and it would give the guy who'd end up doing it for keeps a chance to see what he's headed for. I mean, you don't buy cars without a test drive right? Or do a job without some kind of on-site training. Might as well do the same for someone inheriting something. At least you'd know if they're actually qualified for the job, right?**_

 _ **Give it a week or two. Or a month. That's only fair, ne?**_

 **END FLASHBACK**

* * *

Tsuna stared at the jovial older man and couldn't help gaping. "Are you telling me you found me because of a stupid ad?"

"I couldn't well question its efficacy since it did bring you to me, child."

"But it was just a simple advert—it's like thousands of others I've seen around the campus—what makes—oh no! Is that study something you organized? Is that even a real study?" Tsuna sputtered indignantly waving his hands around.

"Oh of course. It's a legitimate study that allows us to scout people with—shall we say, preferred bloodline ability or a rare gift. You have no idea what a magnificent surprise you were for everyone when they found out all about you."

Tsuna could only continue gaping at the cause of his trips fiasco and wondered, in a corner of his still screaming subconscious, if this was how Alice felt when she fell down the rabbit hole and met all the mad inhabitants of Wonderland.

 **END OF YET ANOTHER FLASHBACK**

* * *

 **Present Time...Finally**

"Nono!"

"Ah, my beloved Tsunayoshi. How glad I am that you were able to make it today."

Tsuna gave the smiling older man a grin and a cheerful embrace that made the man laugh aloud. A large, beringed hand ruffled his locks and Tsuna allowed the action for a few more moments before reaching up to clasp the aged hand between his.

"Nono, what brings you to Namimori? Is something wrong? Reborn said you wanted to see me."

Nono glanced at the smirking tutor who lounged in one of the room's wingback chairs like a languorous lion soaking up the sun and gently chided the man, "Reborn, must you constantly worry my heir so?"

Reborn waved a languid hand gesturing towards Tsuna as he replied; dark eyes wide and innocent as a newly born foal, "You said you wanted him. I brought him. How is his worry-wart ways and habit of jumping into conclusions my fault?"

Tsuna simply tossed a glowering look at his tutor before turning back to Nono who could only shake his head at the Arcobaleno's flippant nature and stellar acting skills.

"Nono, is there a problem? You wouldn't have flown all the way here if there wasn't anything wrong, right? You're not sick are you?" Tsuna asked quietly.

Nono shook his head and clapped a reassuring hand upon Tsuna's left shoulder, giving it a quick, firm press. "Calm yourself, child. I am quite well. I came here for you."

"For me?"Tsuna asked. "What do you mean?"

But Timoteo merely smiled before ushering Tsuna inside another room in the lavish mansion that he has been brought to. It didn't reassure him in the slightest when he noted that Reborn was following docilely behind, eyes dark and fathomless; no visible grin or smirk painting the customary corners of his thin lips.

It certainly did nothing for his nerves when he noticed that once again, there was the masked figure of Checker Face waiting for him as the man sat behind a huge partner's table like a grinning, demented lawyer from hell.

With a grimace and a wave of his hand Tsuna gestured towards the still grinning masked man and declared, "If he's here to interrogate me again, I'll save you the trouble and tell you right here and now that I'd rather strip off every inch of my skin rather than do that again."

Checker Face leered down at the wary-looking Tsunayoshi before trilling, "My, my…the little Tsunayoshi sure has a way with words."

"I have a way with my fists too, if you care to try." Tsuna bit out. He glared at nearly every occupant in the room save Nono and Reborn (he was pissed not suicidal) before turning back to face the masked man that was still fluttering in front of him. "So tell me, Masked Man-san, what brings you to our lovely side of the world?"

Checker Face beamed at Tsuna before whipping out with a flourish a steel file case and extracting a single, brilliantly white sheet of paper which he then placed in front of Tsuna with a wicked grin that was evident even through the shadowed depths of his mask.

Tsuna stared a man for a full minute before his eyes fell unto the sheet he had brought out. Tsuna blinked. He stared and read the words contained therein. Blinked. Read. Stared. He did this a couple of times more before he took a deep breath, lifted his eyes and then opened his mouth to let off a below that caused half the men in the room to reach into their jacket and nearly pull out a weapon.

" **What in god's bloody hell is this?!"**

The room echoed with Tsuna's clearly incensed voice causing Reborn to chuckle as many of the much older guards who accompanied Nono jumped at the unexpected noise the young man was apparently capable of producing.

Nono, in a bid to play mediator opened his mouth to explain but Checker Face was determined not to be outshined by Tsuna's display of temper.

"What you asked for. What you recommended was a suitable solution for an heir-to-be. This contract will win for you the years you wish for. Consider this a test—a practical demonstration of skills that promises to be useful in your future as leader of the Famiglia."

Tsuna glared balefully at the man even as he started a mental countdown. It was a technique that served him well whenever he had to deal with his father's infrequent and unwelcomed presence.

"So, in other words what you're saying is that this contract is some sort of stay of execution? Some kind of show and tell that I have to put myself through so that you could sit there hemming and hawing before deciding if I could finish the rest of my schooling before I surrender my entire life to this madness you call an inheritance?"

"That's—that's exactly what this is. I'm glad you understand the terms very well." Checker Face was not mollified in the least at the sight of the young man who was clearly gaining quick control of his temper. It certainly did nothing for his mood when Tsunayoshi gave him a derisive snort.

"I learned how to speak bullshit from the very best. I was raised by a woman who believed the man she married was away looking for romance and adventure for the better part of fifteen years and sired by man who doesn't understand the word responsibility if it came wrapped in a neon sign big enough to be viewed from space. I assure you, gentlemen—" Tsuna scoffed, his disdain evident for all to see, "I can speed-read through the legalese enough to know that this contract doesn't guarantee me that those hard-won years of mine would be conflict and interference free."

Nono, perhaps sensing the mounting hostility cast a quelling glance at the amused, albeit silent Arcobaleno, before turning towards the agitated young man who was evidently set on drilling a hole through the mask of his equally aggravating masked companion.

"Decimo—please consider. You wish for us to be truthful and we are honoring that request. Even with every safeguard set in place, there really is no way we can promise that Famiglia business won't bleed into your mundane existence. We can try to the very best of our abilities—we will do all that is possible but life can only be planned up to a point."

Tsunayoshi lips thinned in exasperation but he gave a short conceding bow. "Fine, I concede that. Your contract doesn't stimulate a time line or a set of clear tasks for me to accomplish. I want it written on black and white exactly for how long this test run of yours will proceed and what are the expectations from me and what are the consequences and penalties I should be made aware of should I be unable to abide by your contract."

"You are a very astute, careful young man." Checker Face hissed.

Tsuna gave his erstwhile audience a calculating look before folding his hands on his lap and giving them a small smirk while his eyes cast a quick look at his amused Tutor.

"Again, gentlemen, you display an astounding amount of condescension for someone intent on getting my agreement. You persist on thinking me naïve, so let me disabuse you of that idea right here and now. Let me make it plain—I have spent a considerable amount of my formative years being tutored by a hitman who displays an impressive case of OCD whenever the issue of his reputation is even subtly implied to be less than flawless—so I assure you—there is no need to play ignorant with me. I do paranoid cynicism with the very best of them. Indeed, I do pragmatic skepticism extremely well all by my lonesome, so why don't you just cut to the chase and tell me—in essence—what this contract would entail."

"This will be your test Tsunayoshi. You will be tasked with getting your Inheritance Document signed on by the members of the Inner Circle."

Tsuna blinked. He looked at Reborn who was now sporting a truly worrisome look of sheer delight.

"Meaning?"

This time neither Timoteo nor Checker Face responded. Instead it was the familiar and altogether too-tickled tune of his Tutor who spoke.

"It means, Dame Tsuna that it's time to call in the wayward and lost lambs, my boy. It's finally time to gather all of the family. You're going bounty hunting, idiot student."

" _ **Oh you have got to be kidding me."**_


	3. The Seven Gunslingers of the Apocalypse

**Authors Note:**

Standard Disclaimer Applies.

There. Now this chapter fought me tooth and nail and I really can't figure out why. Seriously. It took me days just to get it out and it still doesn't feel quite as right but if I don't send it out—I will never get to the parts I do like.

Oh well…I hope you'll enjoy this latest installment. The next two will be filled with shorter and hopefully more amusing stuff. And well…don't kill me okay? And I do apologize if this thing seemed populated by nothing but OC-hey I had to make some okay?

* * *

 **THE SEVEN GUNSLINGERS OF THE APOCALYPSE**

" _ **You can learn a lot about a person if you just take the time**_

 _ **to inject them with sodium pentothal."**_

 _ **-Anonymous**_

* * *

 _ **Namimori Town**_

 _ **Tsunayoshi's Apartment**_

 _ **Saturday**_

Tsunayoshi was staring at his ceiling. He has been doing so for the last four hours. Idly, he notes the grumbling of his stomach but he dismisses the gnawing sensation as immaterial. He has something much more important to contemplate. Such as the truly shitty state of his life. He wonders for a moment if he should ask his mother if he was cursed as a child or if any of them (his father most definitely being the only ultimate bad-luck in human form) ever offended a deity, ghost or even just an enchanted mushroom.

Certainly its one of those supernatural things that goes beyond human knowledge and interpretation. Or perhaps it's one of those once-in-a-millennium coincidences that just happened to convene at the exact moment of his birth and so it was written in the stars as a means of maintaining the over-all balance in the universe.

Because as sure as he was that his innards has started protesting and contemplating cannibalizing itself due to his deliberate inattention—his life has taken a turn towards Shitsville.

If Fate and Destiny decides to get married and then ends up in bitter divorce—then he is most definitely their kid. He seems to end up in the weirdest and certainly the most annoying, curse-worthy situations anyone could ever imagine.

 _No, scratch that. No one sane could ever imagine his life. If Salvador Dali could paint my life—it would be a mural that would stretch longer than the former Berlin Wall and be just as loathed and feared. Fuck my life._

"Are you done moping yet?"

Chagrined, Tsuna turned towards Reborn in affronted horror, sitting up from his bed to glare at his still smirking tutor who was nonchalantly sipping a cup of his usual morning brew. " **Moping?!** I am not _moping!_ I am communing with the universe and trying to find out who fucked up and misfiled my life under the label ' _Punish with a shitty life'_. I need a redo and a refund and a passport out of this madness."

Reborn stared at his sulking student before giving out a dismissive snort. "Yeah well, when you're done moping like a Class-A Drama Queen, you need to move your ass because I am getting a bit deaf with all the racket your stomach has been making since ten minutes ago and if that gets any louder your neighbors will be filing a domestic disturbance report on you."

Tsuna glowered balefully at his clearly unsympathetic tutor, muttering gloomily, "Oh let them. With the way my luck is going someone is going to mistake it for domestic abuse and they'll find you and think I'm a weirdo that's been neglected by my clearly older, questionable looking partner."

"Are you done?" Reborn deadpanned.

"Not even close—!"

"You were saying?"

Tsuna glared balefully at his tutor who continued to stare at him unsympathetically.

"You're no fun. Anyways, I need to vent or I may just contemplate what massacring a bunch of whiny mobster would do to my Karma."

"Get over it. The situation isn't hypothetical anymore and all the moaning and moping in the world isn't going help you. Time to buckle down and just do the damned job. Consider this as the worst type of internship you will ever have."

Tsuna groused as he wrenched his mop of autumn colored mane in frustration " _Internship_? This— _this_ isn't an internship—this is a death sentence to the seventh levels of hell and I'm not even getting paid for all this misery!"

"If it's the pay you're after—maybe we can swing it. There's no reason why you shouldn't reap some kind of compensation for this job. I'll talk with the old man—no need to suffer without any benefits and no one but a saint or a fool works for nothing."

"I'm not a fool!"

"Good. Cause I refuse to train one." Reborn took another sip of his coffee and then cocked an inquiring brow at his disgruntled charge. "Well?"

Tsuna's lower lip thrust out even more even as his eyes narrowed in temper, "That's beside the point! Who decided on this two week-long trial anyways! If I go through this I wouldn't have the time to find a good summer job and I need to prepare funds for the next term."

"Don't pout—that was only mildly permissible when you were ten and don't fuss anymore about the payment or the time frame as you can be assured I will insist they put some form of financial remuneration on the actual contract. Besides you're the one who insisted you didn't need an entire month."

"I didn't think they'd actually agree. I thought they'd scrap the whole idea if I couldn't spare the expected time."

"As you so generously pointed out you're not a fool, so stop giving me a reason to doubt that assertion and as I sure as hell wouldn't qualify for sainthood no matter if I get the blood-quota required for an actual sacrifice of epic proportions."

Tsuna raised his hand, his features twisted in horror. " _Please don't use the terms blood, sacrifice and epic in any configuration whatsoever_!" He gave a shudder at the mental picture the words elicited in his mind and he gave another shiver. "The images those things are generating when you're the one saying them is giving me chills in the midst of this oppressive heat."

"Don't be so melodramatic, Idiot Student. I refuse to consider that after all this time you are succumbing to your sire's unfortunate propensity for being a drama queen."

"Bite your tongue!" Tsuna yelped in righteous anger. "I am becoming _no such thing!"_

Reborn gazed at his flustered and frustrated charge and decided that he has wasted enough time. With an imperious gesture, he directed Tsuna to get himself ready before walking out to wait in Tsuna's tiny living room.

The young man grudgingly rose from his bed and started dressing, muttering occasionally as he rummaged through his dresser for something comfortable and appropriate.

When he appeared in his living room, Reborn shoved a cup at Tsuna before extending another hand, this time bearing a small plate that contained two neatly trimmed sandwiches. Grateful for the meal, Tsuna gave his tutor a short nod and promptly devoured his meal.

"Chew, swallow and breathe Brat. I need you healthy, alert and most of all, alive for this mad venture."

Tsuna nodded again and slowed down his frantic chewing. "So, does this mean I'd have an actual contract for this thing? Think I could maybe get it read by a lawyer or something?"

"A lawyer?" Reborn snickered at Tsuna's bewildered stare. "You'd be laughed out of any law office and thrown out on your silly butt sooner than you can say 'client confidentiality'. While there is actual paperwork that will be involved, think of it more like a verbal agreement signed in blood."

"Is that even possible? Or even passing legal?" he grumbled.

"This is the mob, little Tsuna-fish—do you really, honestly expect us to be moral, legal or even normal?"

Tsuna took a sip of his tea, wondering if he's going to regret actually eating. "Are you supposed to even tell me that?"

Reborn smirked. "Do you want me to lie?"

Tsuna snorted derisively. "You lie to me all the time!"

"I don't lie to you. I expertly navigate conversations through the skillful application of segues and euphemisms. At times I withhold sensitive materials until a more opportune moment appears."

"In short you tell me what you want, when you want and unless there's no other option left on the planet save death or near apocalypse. Otherwise, you give me the usual bullshit and test me if I could figure it out."

Reborn gave Tsuna a look before his hands lifted and slowly and deliberately straightened his cuffs. Tsuna watched the ritual with dawning horror.

"So why do you expect something different then? Fine. That'll teach me to consider your feelings."

"Reborn—don't! Please! You being all altruistic on me is giving me hives. Just tell me what's in store for me, okay?"

"Fine, fine. The contract stimulates that within the given two-week period you must deal with situations as they arise. They can literally be anything under the sun—financial concerns down to territorial disputes to hiring appropriate personnel. There, as I've told you many times over—I never lied to you."

Tsuna battered away the guilt-trip with the casual grace of familiar ease. "Reborn—never mind your usual mind games—I was just hoping you'd spare me from the usual blather the sheep here suffers from."

Reborn gave Tsuna a grin. "Not willing to consider yourself trainee for being head shepherd, little Tuna?"

Tsuna snorted at his tutor before bestowing upon the man an unabashedly sly smile. "That would be decidedly weird considering your moniker for me. I have a pretty good imagination but I really can't picture sheep running away from a no-good tuna."

At this Reborn finally laughed, clapping an indulgent hand upon his student's unruly mop of hair. "Ah, but that is precisely what you need to do. Be someone truly unexpected. This job is not for the faint of heart and certainly not for an innocent, earnest young man who would only end up consumed and devoured by the bloodthirsty predators that swim the waters you will soon be swimming in."

Tsuna nodded, allowing himself a few more moments of being petted before he swatted his mentors hand from his head to displace it.

"Then wouldn't it be best that you get me a good swimming instructor then."

"What else do you think I am doing?"

"Being mean like your usual self. Tell me, Reborn, is my goal to become cold inscrutable and absolutely annoying like you?"

This time Reborn didn't pat Tsuna's head. Rather he gave the young man's temple a quick, sharp rap. "Dame-Tsuna, are you forgetting yourself, talking to me that way?"

"Hiee!"

"Oh my dear idiot child, one must learn to walk first before one attempts to leap into the unknown. Now, remind me, what is your course in University again?

Rubbing the sore spot and glaring helplessly at his smirking teacher, Tsuna replied dourly, "I-I was planning to go into general education—preschool teaching, actually."

Reborn gave a sharp, assessing look at his student before sighing. Confused at the man's display, Tsuna asked defensively, "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Interesting, Dame-Tsuna. A noble idea, truly—the idea of leading and developing the minds of the future—it's certainly a worthy goal for a hard-working young man. Well, thank god I save the lot of them from your influence"

"Hey!What the heck does that mean?!" Tsuna sputtered in indignation.

"Never you mind that. Thankfully your training will come in usefully when dealing with the members of our world. You have had time what with your dealings with those minions of yours."

Tsuna snorted. "They're called friends not minions. So the mob is very much like dealing with my friends then?"

"Indeed. You could say that dealing with the mob is not unlike your desired profession."

Tsuna stared at his tutor incredulously. "Are you telling me that dealing with the mob is not unlike dealing with rambunctious recalcitrant toddlers?"

"Worse."

"Honestly!" Tsuna threw his hands up in exasperation, gesticulating at his mentor, "Just how can that be worse?"

"Well because it is very much like dealing with rambunctious, recalcitrant _gun-toting foul-mouthed often psychotic and definitely violence-inclined toddlers_." Reborn deadpanned.

"That's—no I can't—that's incomprehensible! How am I supposed to do that?"

"You've already done much of it before you even learned that you needed to. You intuited it. Time to refine the process and make sure it would become automatic and second nature to you. You have two weeks to hone that particular talent. That's what this test is all about."

" _ **WHAT!"**_

"And stop gaping like a damned landed guppy Dame-Tsuna. You still need to pack. There is no way in fucking hell I'm staying in this shoebox you call a home. I can feel hives forming on my skin just with the idea of resting against this mismatched, kitschy nonsense you call furnishings."

"W-wait—what?!Reborn! What the heck are you talking about? I am not going back to Italy—I have a job to do—wait! Reborn! Where the hell are we going?"

* * *

 **Namimori Town**

 **Vongola Japan Stronghold**

"Morning Reborn."

"An interesting more to you as well, Idiot Tsuna. I've been informed that your nannies are here."

Tsuna nearly spit out the tea he had just taken a sip of at the declaration, glaring at his tutor who displayed the man's evident enjoyment at his near miss.

" _Bloody—!_ You did that on purpose."

Reborn nonchalantly picked up a sterling silver coffee pot and poured a measure into an antique bone china cup. Lifting it to his lips, he took an appreciative sip of the scalding brew before granting his student a snort of acknowledgement.

"Of course I did. Now, mop up your spilled tea and change out of those ratty, shoddy things you insist on calling clothes—take a bath, too—we have the time. It's unseemly for a Boss to look so sloppy so early in the day. You might as well begin learning now that you must maintain an image just like everyone else."

"I wouldn't look this way if you haven't surprised me so. And my clothes are not ratty or shoddy! Just because I don't wear clothes that have a five-figure price tag does not make sloppy. What do you mean by _'nannies'_ anyways?"

"They are the Internal Observers assigned by the council and Vongola Nono to act as witnesses during the duration of your trial. They will be the ones providing you with tasks that you will need to accomplish within a given time frame."

"So they're really more like tutors than babysitters?"

"More like task-masters. Come, you should meet them. Your week will begin tomorrow and we need to make sure you understand what each task and goal entails."

Tsuna stared at the remains of his breakfast and sighed. He barely had two bites and now his appetite has completely fled him. With another sigh, he took a final sip of tea and rose to his feet.

"Might as well. I don't suppose Nono has any intentions of calling this whole thing off and tell me this is just one elaborate prank?"

"Nono displays many fine qualities in a man and leader but being a prankster alas is not one of them. He can be remarkably cunning and ruthless when it comes to allies and foes. The man can also be remarkably dense and utterly blind when it comes to his sons. Ah well…few men learns to curb such flaws."

Tsuna stared incredulously at his mentor who continued to languidly sip his coffee as if he hadn't just insulted the man that ran the biggest and strongest mafia famiglia in the world.

" _R-reborn!_ This is Nono—this is the man that controls the strongest Mafia Famiglia in the world! You can't say things like that to him—can you?"

Reborn gazed at his gaping student from beneath the shadow of his thick lashes before drawling lazily, "Who's to say things that I can or cannot do? Do not concern yourself with petty things idiot-student." He took a last sip of his morning brew before placing his cup unto the lace-covered breakfast table and walking back the way he came. "Come on idiot-student. I will pick up something for you to wear so you won't embarrass yourself. Time to deal with the tasks of the day."

They walked out of the private wing of the mansion that the Vongola maintained in Japan since the founder, Vongola Primo's, retirement to the island. The Vongola Japan mansion was an interesting blend of east and west with its austere, minimalist furnishing combined with wide airy spaces and high vaulted ceilings.

The men that stood in front of them couldn't have been farther from the idea of nannies and baby-sitters as could be possible while still considering that they're still beings of flesh, blood and intent. They were all clad in somber-hued, expensively tailored suits that bore the Vongola seal proclaiming not just their affiliation but their prosperity as well. Tsuna couldn't help but wonder if the excellent tailoring is a necessary evil one must grow accustomed to while employed by the Underworld. They were also the most physically varied bunch of people he has had a chance of being presented to considering his less than stellar interactions with the members of the famiglia.

 ** _It's like they sent me the Seven Gnomes of Vongola. Good gods, what am I suppose to say to these people? I'm afraid they'll bite my head off if I open my mouth. They're like Reborn—I wonder if they're what's produced when Reborn gets wet...? I suppose the Varia's what Reborn is like when he eats after midnight then…gods what is wrong with me—I think all these black suits making me lose my mind!_**

 ** _Damn it Tsuna—get a hold of yourself! You CANNOT go bonkers just yet—this is your future on the line! Get a grip and just keep your head. There, now take a deep breath…everything will be okay. Just think positive. Just think positive!_**

"Oh look Dame-Tsuna, I was right in picking up the white ensemble. Nono decided to bless you with seven nannies, just like Snow-White ne?"

If Tsuna had less than a decade of conditioning in his arsenal, he might've lashed out—kicking and screaming at the idea of being compared to a fairy tale princess. As it was he took another look at his unwanted task-masters and amended that their sinister aura looked more than mere evil gnomes.

 _ **I am so thoroughly screwed. Nono sent me the Seven Gunslingers of the Vongola.**_

Keeping in mind that this, much like any other interaction he was destined to have with the Underworld, was means of learning [i.e. TORTURE] for his tutor, he quickly schooled his features to a polite mask, keeping his internal monologue at bay.

The oldest of the lot didn't look like he could last another two days let alone two weeks. The man looked as if he has been around since ancient times. The others he would peg at around the same age as his father or a bit younger than the current Vongola Head. Only one of the seven was even remotely close to his age, Tsuna pegging the man to be a year or two younger than Dino-Sensei.

Tsuna paid note to the first man that stepped forward. This one was a bit closer to Nono's age than his own father though he was surprisingly shorter than either man. The man has the carved, aquiline features of a true Italian, with smooth tanned skin and dark hair. His smaller stature and slight build creates an image of fragility and his sole concession to age seemed to be the faint wrinkles around his eyes and the faint taint of grey hair at his temples. His eyes were startlingly light—a cool, pale grey-blue that reminded Tsuna somewhat of the eyes he once saw in a pair of snow wolves he was fortunate to see during one of those torturous death relays Reborn insisted on calling training camps.

Reborn gestured a hand at the man and murmured quietly, "This is Giocondo Calfucci, Head of the Vongola Legal Division. Gio, this is the Vongola Heir-Apparent, Decimo."

Tsuna blinked to clear his thoughts and looked once more at the aristocratic looking man, allowing his senses to get a final read on the man, before bestowing a small smile and a short bow. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance Signor Calfucci."

Tsuna did not expect the man to come up close to him and he was startled when he felt the smooth, cool hand cradle his chin, forcing him to straighten from his bow and meet the man's cool, assessing gaze.

"You have very interesting eyes Decimo. Eyes like sun-struck cinnamon diamonds...very alluring."

The smooth, deep baritone surprised Tsuna and he found himself blushing at the startlingly captivating voice that came out of such a slight, short man. It took him a few minutes to realize the man was stiff effectively caressing his jaw and he retreated a few feet back with understandable alacrity.

"T-thank you sir."

"I've heard rumors that they can become even more arresting during interesting situations. I would be thrilled to see such a thing."

"I-i…so they tell me Signor…"

"And modest as a newborn foal!" The old man nearly purred, his voice dipping into an even lower register, sending a frisson of sensation down Tsuna's spine. "Hmm…how cunning you are dear Arcobaleno, hiding from us such a jewel. A rare one…Nono is right to be so jovial of late."

Reborn's sharp eyes noted his student's reaction and smirked. "He has always displayed a rather disturbing sense of joy that is quite unbecoming for one so cunning."

Giocondo Calfucci cast a teasing wink and grins at Reborn before his eyes swept back towards Tsuna. "Ah…but that's what makes Nono such a formidable leader. He smiles so genially whilst twisting your arms and threatening you with complete surrender. Such an entertaining scoundrel of a man."

"Your fondness is showing Gio. You were always so inordinately indulgent of Nono." Reborn returned the old man's smirk with his own as he glanced at his clearly flustered student.

"You're still blushing idiot-student?"

"I-I am not!" Tsuna sputtered in chagrin, causing the older men around him to titter in amusement.

"So you're naturally the color of a ripe tomato? Lord, child but you're easy to rile." Reborn turned to the clearly delighted Calfucci. "You still flirt incessantly Gio. No wonder you go through wives like most men go through cars."

Calfucci snorted delicately, waving a languid, beringed-hand, "I have more discerning tastes than that, old friend. But alas—my heart—it doesn't allow itself to be tamed so easily, no? It is fortunate that I am very well versed in the working of the law otherwise I would be a pauper for sure."

"Signor Calfucci has been handling the legal needs of the Vongola Famiglia like his family has done for the last century and a half. He has been born and bred for the service of the famiglia."

"My dearest Reborn, you are making me sound positively ancient. Please, Decimo, ignore this disagreeable man. I assure you, I am very much at the prime of my life. I have more than enough years left in me to train you quite thoroughly."

Tsuna couldn't find it in himself to deflect the man's words without sounding either like a complete fool or a painfully prude. Still, he wondered frantically, how does one turn down a blatant proposition from a man that's older than both of your parents without causing an internal strife within his would-be famiglia?

He cast desperate, beseeching eyes at his mentor and couldn't even blame the man when he gave him a thoroughly amused look that declared he will end up with quite a stiff penalty. He gave a frantic nod and held his breath, facing the still grinning Signor Calfucci.

"S-signor, I am very glad that you are in perfect health and I am thankful for any instruction you might be willing to share. My tutor taught me many things, Signor and one of those lessons include the belief that one ventures into the unknown—one must bring a wizened and knowing guide."

For the first time the flirting glint in Giocondo Calfucci's eyes sharpened into the cunning blade that must've stood the man in good stead when he in turn hunted the legal web that comprised of the Underworld.

"Astute as ever, Arcobaleno."

"I do my best."

Giocondo turned once more towards the Vongola Heir who watched the exchange with clear, guileless eyes. He wondered if the young man would say anything more but to his surprise Decimo simply gave him another of those oddly appraising looks, before awarding him a gentle smile and a nod.

Reborn however was fed up with the cryptic exchange and prompted attention by cocking his Beretta and allowing the click to echo loudly.

"Gio, for fuck's sake stop flirting with a boy that's younger than your youngest grandson from your youngest kid and just tell the brat what the hell it is that you actually do."

"You said he was the head of the legal department, right? So, he's kind of the lawyer the famiglia goes to when there's legal problems right? Like lawsuits and stuff?"

"Broadly speaking. But frankly, dear boy—who in their right mind would bother suing us? Can you really imagine some self-righteous busybody dragging us to court with our reputation?"

"I suppose that is foolish…but then, if not lawsuits—are you concerned with contracts and wills then?"

"For the most part Decimo I am the one that broker deals that would allow the Famiglia to get the best of any deal. Barring that, I do dabble occasionally in the process of ensuring that the Famiglia doesn't get screwed over by boring, pesky legalese and various international and local authorities."

"Is that even legal?"

"Legal as death and taxes my boy. It's all a matter of knowing the rules and making it work for you. What is it that they say—you need to know the rules of the game so that you can break them effectively. That's essentially my job description." Giocondo flashed another smile and Tsuna noted that it was all teeth. "They make those lovely rules and I spend all my time finding ways and means to beat them at it."

Reborn snorted in wicked glee and Tsuna couldn't help but stare at his tutor in question.

"False modesty Gio? It doesn't suit you. I suggest you stop trying before you hurt yourself."

Giocondo actually pouted. "You hurt my feelings Arcobaleno."

"You don't have them. You sold them to the devil remember?"

"Oh hush, that's a trade secret."

"Idiot-Tsuna time to pay attention. Gio is the most skilled contract writer in the Underworld. He is also the most devious contract breaker in the Underworld. If it could be circumvented, evaded, amended or retracted Gio will find away. If Adam and Eve had him in their corner, they probably would've thrown out God and his angels from the Garden of Eden."

"R-reborn!"

"His contracts are absolute works of art—more secured than most countries constitutions and filled with obscure annoying legalese than could be found in most Draconian civilizations. He could write a contract that would make you pay him for making you a slave and be grateful for it. Rumor has it that he apprenticed under Mephistopheles himself but even Gio isn't that dumb to fall for the Faustian foolishness."

"Pshaw. People will say whatever they want—unless I find reasons to slap them a lawsuit and a restraining order."

The smile the old man gave Tsuna reminded him quite forcefully of Reborn's allusion that he would have to learn to swim with sharks. The old flirtatious man that stood before him now felt more like a damned barracuda more than a genteel, old barrister. But oddly enough, Tsuna found himself liking the wily old flirt and he gave another deferential nod towards the man.

"I'm sure you do an excellent job at your post Signor. I beg that you will be indulgent of my lack of knowledge and experience."

Giocondo found himself placing a hand against his breast and giving the young Decimo a grave bow. "You have my word that I will guide you to the very best of my abilities."

Tsuna straightened his stance and gave a bow of equal gravity. "You have my eternal thanks Signor Calfucci."

Tsuna gave Reborn a look even as the tutor turned towards the next Internal Observer in the line-up. He noted his mentor's lips turning up the smallest bit and wondered if the man could make a vague guess at the thoughts running through his head. Turning his head, he noted the next set of strangers and paused to blink. And blink again.

 _Nope. Not dreaming. There really are three of them. Goldilocks had three bears. I have three black-suited scarecrows._

The men were dressed in the same dark suit as Signor Calfucci but that's where the similarities ended. They were rail thin, dark hair slicked back with clearly liberal application of pomade. Bemused, Tsuna noted that one parted his hair to the left, the other to the right and the one in the middle has his hair styled to sweep back his high arched brow, displaying a well-defined widow's peak. Their features were sharp and angular; thin nose and thin lips completed the image of men serious nature. Their sharp dark brown eyes intense beneath arched bushy brows displaying intelligence barely concealed even behind the clear glasses one of them chose to wear.

"Decimo, these gentlemen are the Di Forli brothers. It is a rarity even for an organization as expansive as the Vongola to hire the services of brothers in so a closely tied up division, but the triplets have proven themselves invaluable to the famiglia. They are, all of them, quite brilliant."

"Ah Signor Arcobaleno, you flatterer—you say the nicest things." The man with the left-side part turned towards Tsuna and gave a short nod. "Terzago di Forli, Head of Finance."

The man with the right-side part and an oddly placed mole beneath his left eye snorted at Reborn even as he nodded at his sibling. "My brother is right—you remain cheeky as ever. I told you, you will not get that clause through us no matter how you try and charm us." The man then, like his brother, turned to Tsuna and gave a similar short nod. "Tebaldo di Forli, Head Auditor for the famiglia"

The third brother gave a stiff sniff before bowing to Tsuna who in turn, bowed back automatically; a small, shy smile painting his lips who eyed the man with interested assessing gaze.

"I am Teofisto di Forli, Head of Treasury. A pleasure to finally meet you Vongola Decimo."

"The honor is mine, Signor. Again, I would like to extend my apologies for any inconvenience this situation has brought you."

Teofisto eyed the young Vongola heir and something in Tsuna must've gained some approval in the serious man because he gave a nod and his stance eased just the tiniest bit.

"And since both my brothers lost sight of why we are here, I will endeavor as best I can to explain our profession. My brother Terzago creates and spends the funds that fuel, support and sustain the running of the Famiglia, my brother Tebaldo audits what the famiglia spends and acquire. I, as fate would have it, have the unfortunate task of guarding the treasury to ensure that one of them doesn't spend too much and one of them has enough to do whatever is needed. In short, Decimo," at this Teofisto and his brothers leveled an implacable if vaguely amused dark gaze at the bewildered-looking Vongola heir and spoke as if they spent endless hours practicing just for this moment. "We hold the purse-strings that keep your entire Famiglia solvent and wealthy beyond measure. It would be very good of your to remember that fact."

Tsuna gulped and nearly fainted at the sight. He couldn't help but glare at his tutor, knowing somehow the man was utterly amused by his current situation.

 ** _Oh great gods…I am so cursed. I have the Three Terrors of the Vongola breathing down my neck over something as crucial as money. I think it would be easier to pry money out of the hands of stone than this lot._**

Tsuna gave the three brothers a short nod and murmured quietly. "I understand Signor. Money is a delicate and serious matter no matter what type of organization you run—especially one as diverse and expansive as the Vongola."

The three brothers gave Tsuna another triple gimlet stare before nodding and with another admonishing finger at Reborn, turned to leave the room, muttering continuously about not wasting time since time is after all money and they don't have ' _all day to waste doing a meet and greet and all the other nonsense that 'lazy sodding bastards' seem to enjoy on a daily basis'_.

They continued on muttering even while they crossed the threshold, talking and arguing with one another amicably until the door finally closed behind them. After the brother's rather noisy and eclectic exit, Tsuna released a relieved breath and waited for the next set of Observer to be presented to him. Reborn simply flashed him an amused glance before waving a hand to call forth another man forward.

And what a man it was. Whereas Giocondo was a smooth, sleek elegant man that seemed to easily slide and flow through any conversation and the Di Forli brothers a formidable wall of efficiency and cutthroat sense of efficiency—this latest newcomer was more of a mountain than a man.

"Decimo, I present to you the Head of Security for the Vongola Stronghold, Lodovico Baroncelli. Vico, this is the Vongola Heir-Apparent, Decimo."

Lodovico Baroncelli gave Tsuna a silent, contemplative look and Tsuna found himself looking back in contemplative awe. The man stood nearly an entire foot above Tsuna's head, with enough musculature bulging beneath his straining black suit to put a body-builder to shame. The man was like a bronzed statue come to life with sharp chiseled features roughly hewn in the unforgiving material, his visage saved from conventional handsomeness by a scar that bisected his face from his left eyebrow down to his cheeks. His eyes were an unusual shade of blue so arresting that they seemed almost like lit sapphires artfully embedded within the over-all reddish hue of his skin. His hair was a dark auburn that blended well to give the man an aura of a warrior of old come to life.

"Decimo."

The man's voice was rough and deep, it came rumbling out like from deep cavern that's hardly ever used. Tsuna has no doubt that the man speaks only when he needs to and seldom raises his voice beyond an expected, measure timbre. He clearly has no need to shout to make himself heard.

"I am honored to meet the young man that's being considered to be my next leader."

Tsuna found the man, oddly enough, to be unthreatening. There was something about the huge, imposing figure that seemed so peculiarly comforting to his senses and he gave the man a warm, beaming smile and a genuine spark of interest in his citrine-bright eyes as he bowed his head.

"I am pleased to make your acquaintance too, Signor Baroncelli. I hope that you will forgive my inexperience while I learn from you during this testing period. I am eager to learn all I can from your guidance and care."

The older man blinked and turned towards Reborn who was shaking his head in amusement.

"He isn't playing with you."

Tsuna lifted his head and tossed his tutor a questioning look.

"He's wondering why you're not scared of him."

Tsuna turned towards the silent Head of Security with an inquiring tilt of his head before replying in clear bafflement.

"Should I be? He looks—I mean, he seems very kind—so why should I be scared?"

Lodovico blinked again before rumbling, "I am scarred Decimo."

"It's not that bad. D-do—do they bother you a lot Signor Baroncelli?"

"Call me Vico. No they don't bother me but people tend to get wary of someone who looks like they've been to war."

"Have you been? To wars, I mean? "

"Countless times."

Tsuna gazed at Signor Vico for a moment before shrugging and giving the man another sweet smile. "That only makes you better doesn't it? It means you've survived a lot so that means you're good at what you do."

Lodovico flicked a glance at Reborn and a deep, intense silence passed between the two men before Reborn smirked and Lodovico gave a nod before reaching out to clasp the intrigued Tsuna's shoulder. Surprised at the warm of the man's hand, Tsuna looked up at Lodovico's face unflinchingly and waited for the man to speak.

"I eagerly await your residence at the main house Decimo."

"Uhm…thank you Signor Vico."

With a sharp nod, the man turned and settled back into one of the sofa's that were placed in the receiving room. Tsuna wondered at the smug look on his mentors face but decided not to question it for the moment. When they're alone, Tsuna decided, he would have his answers but not until then. Reborn has taught him that much.

With another deep sigh, he turned his head to meet the next man in the line-up of guests for the day. This time, he found himself looking down at a man that looks more like an ancient hermit than a man that serves the Underworld's most powerful Famiglia.

"You're staring young man."

Tsuna blushed and sputtered in his haste to apologize. "I-I am sorry Signor. I don't mean to be rude."

"I guess you're surprised by the way I look. Do I look old to you, young master Decimo?"

 ** _Old? Is that even the word?_** Tsuna wondered hysterically _. **The man looked like he's been around since Moses high-tailed it out of Egypt, traipsed through the desert and descended the mountains with a pair of stone tablets.**_

The old hunched figure in front of him seemed more than just merely old. Reborn spoke smoothly beside him, and Tsuna wondered for a moment if Reborn could possibly know what was going through his mind.

"Decimo, I am pleased to introduce to you a man so rarely seen by others in the famiglia they consider him almost a myth. Galeazzo Saltarelli, Head of Administration and Archives for the Vongola Famiglia. He has been serving the famiglia for a while now."

 ** _How long exactly is a 'while'? This man looked like he was old when dinosaur's roamed the planet! Should he still be allowed to wander off without support? He looks like a strong wind might knock him down._**

However to Tsuna's eternal surprise, brilliant dark orbs met his and flashed for the briefest moment with the hue of a banked candle flame. Chagrined, he chanced another glance at his smirking tutor before turning back to the old man that now watched him as eagerly as an expectant predator watches prey.

The old figure of the man stood steadily enough but the white hair and the liver-spotted hands that trembled slightly atop the ebony walking stick the man was clutching were faintly alarming. His build was slight but he stood with imperious grace as if he was unaware of his age. The hot Italian sun has imbued his skin tanned and wrinkled with the expected crags and lines of a man that has lived under a punishing sun and even more demanding occupation. The only concession to age Tsuna was sure the man was unwilling to concede was the fact that the ancient looking man had eyes as dark as pure onyx and just as startlingly intense. Tsuna debated how to answer when the man gave out a loud guffaw and Tsuna found himself just staring in surprise.

"Forgive me Signor, I didn't mean to offend. Merely I was intrigued by your age and wondered what it is."

The man waved a dismissive hand and cackled again. "You speak wittily enough, young Master. Proof of your Arcobaleno's tutelage, I've no doubt. Your father—bah! I doubt if he could charm his way out of a bag, that annoying chatterbox of a fluffhead. Now, to answer your question—I am very old—how old, you will find out when you've finished your task. Do we have a deal?"

Tsuna gave the old man a small smile and bowed respectfully.

"Yes, Signor Saltarelli, we have an accord."

"Good, now I'm too old to remain standing so why don't you go over here and lend me hand while I try to sit down Decimo. These old bones of my aren't like they used to."

Sputtering, Tsuna darted forward and gently led the older man towards one of the sofas. Settling the old man, he waved towards one of the hovering SP's that Reborn insisted would be beneficial to have around. A quiet instruction to fetch refreshments for his guests and with a brief inquiry towards Signor Saltarelli's comfort and a promise of a continuance of their conversation, Tsuna proceeded to meet the very last of his supposed observers.

Turning, he was startled when he met hostile, piercing blue eyes glacial in their intensity.

 _Ice-blue,_ his mind dutifully supplied. The eyes that were staring at him reminded him of those he once found in a pair of feral timber wolves during Reborn's many sojourns that he euphemistically calls sight-seeing. _And they were just as fierce and unforgiving as those wolf-eyes too._

Reborn watched the exchange with a blank look on his face but his eyes were speculative. Here, he figured, was the true test of Tsuna's unfathomable charms. For years he has watched his student interact with people in varying degrees of comfort, enthusiasm and warmth. He has grown inured to the fact that Tsuna could find genuine connection with young children since there was innocence to his young charge that easily resonated with those like him. He also didn't question Tsuna's apparent blindness towards men who looked fearsome but were generally of a kind and gentle disposition. No matter how he did it—Tsuna always—always managed to hone in on those that bore those two characteristics—a scarred mind, body or heart and a hidden well of kindness.

However, the man that was in front of Tsuna right now is none of those things. The young man was five years older than Tsuna's eighteen. And at the mere age of twenty-three, he has been assigned as one of the Stewards of the Vongola Household. It was a position of great responsibility for it was the Stewards alone who had frequent contact with the private rooms and lives of the Famiglia. They undertake the everyday running of the famiglia stronghold.

And if he was accurately reading the situation, the youngest Steward of the House was less than impressed.

"Decimo, meet Jacopo Albertini, Steward of the House of the Vongola Famiglia. He is their newest recruit."

Jacopo was clearly not impressed with the tutor's introduction but he beyond the brief tightening of his thin lips, his figure and form betrayed no other reaction. He was tall, taller by a handspan over Tsuna and has the creamy skin that could be rarely found in an active young man. His hair was thick, wavy and shined with health. His figure was lithe and he carried his clothes with innate refinement. His handsome face was set into stony resolve and his eyes alone displayed his dismay at his current location.

"It is an honor to meet with the Vongola Heir Apparent. I hope that we will be able to work well together."

The words were polite and well-rehearsed and Tsuna felt no warmth from them. His gaze turned from shy and intrigued to calm and solemn. He lifted his chin and stared directly at the man than was looking back at him with ill-concealed ire and wondered briefly how to handle such a young man that so eagerly displays his feelings of mistrust for someone he has never met.

"Signor Albertini…have we met before?" Tsuna murmured softly.

"I do not think we have had the pleasure Signor Decimo."

Tsuna pursed his lips but his gaze never wavered from Jacopo's. "If that is so, then explain to me your hostility, Signor. I am intrigued that you find reason to be antagonistic to me when before this moment, we have not laid eyes on one another."

Jacopo broke away from Tsuna's gaze and looked away for a moment, his eyes landing on the smirking Arcobaleno who was watching the exchange with clear amusement.

"Forgive me, Signor Decimo, if you have interpreted my words as being hostile in any way, shape or form. I mean no offense."

Tsuna shook his head and murmured softly, "You need to hide your disdain better Jacopo—if that is the extent of your skill."

"I beg your pardon?!" Jacopo hissed in an incensed huff. "You cross the line with your accusation Signor Decimo. Or does your arrogance know no bound?"

Tsuna leveled a look at the clearly agitated man and inquired gently. "Am I arrogant Signor? How so?"

If his eyes could spit fire Jacopo would've incinerated Tsuna where he stood.

"I would not stand here and have you cast aspersions on my character, when you have clearly impugned my honor by calling upon me last of all."

Tsuna pondered the man who was growing more excitable as the minutes pass, puffing up like an injured cockerel over some imagined slight. _Drama Queen._ Chancing a glance at the clock that revealed that he has spent more than two hours in this meet-and-greet and genuinely finding himself exhausted with the man's uncalled for menace, Tsuna closed his eyes for a minute and debated his course of action. After a moment or two, he opened his eyes and turned towards his tutor.

"Reborn?"

"Yes?"

"Can I?"

Reborn chuckled and waved an imperious hand. "Go ahead. I am looking forward to today's luncheon. Cook promised it will be satisfying."

Tsuna grinned and then faced the smirking Jacopo who thought he has gained the upper hand in dealing with the self-important young lord.

 _That will put him in his place_ , Jacopo thought smugly. He raised his chin and waited to the moment when the young heir would face him again. It was a moment he would recall for all remaining the days of his life.

Tsuna gazed steadily at Jacopo, unaware that his eyes were quickly shifting from its usual autumn brown to more sun-struck-citrine causing Jacopo to feel a shiver move slowly up his spine. When Tsuna's soft voice reached out to him, it was all Jacopo could do not to quiver.

" _ **Jacopo."**_

Jacopo found it took an effort to form words but he mustered his control and swiftly gained back his composure. Still, he found his voice, and indeed his entire body fluttering in awareness when that voice washed over him.

"Y-yes Decimo?"

He didn't note that he has stopped employing the term _'Signor'._

"You have been invited to come and observe me while I carry out tasks ordered by Vongola Nono, correct?"

"Y-yes Decimo."

Tsuna's cinnamon-gold eyes pinned Jacopo in place and his words, though whisper soft felt like they were being branded against Jacopo's very skin.

"You will do this task to the very best of your ability Jacopo, won't you?"

Jacopo would've sooner cut of his own hand than disagree. "Y-yes D-decimo."

Tsuna beamed and Jacopo felt like he could breathe once more. Startled, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he left Decimo reach out and take his hand gently into his. Jacopo found himself looking down into eyes that bore all the hues and shades of a dying Italian sun and felt like he was drowning in warmth. Mutely, he allowed himself to bask in the kindness of Decimo's regard and knew that a blush was suffusing his cheeks in a tell-tale fashion.

"Thank you Jacopo. Would you like to sit and have some tea, then?" Tsuna asked softly.

He was, in turn, surprised when Jacopo seized his hand and bestowed a kiss on his knuckles before declaring passionately, "I-I will love to have you and tea Decimo! I would be honored to have it for the rest of my life!"

Tsuna blinked when Reborn merely chortled.

"Well that was unexpected."

"Eh?!"


End file.
